Over the last couple of weeks, Finley has suffered for brief moments at the hands of her mother. :( I don't like even admitting these incidents, but I'm trying to make her spend more time on her stomach because the doctor even suggested that I do so. She still isn't really fond of "tummy time", but she is getting more accepting of it. She rolls from her back to her tummy really good, but still hasn't figured out how to get back over, so when she starts fussing instead of running over to help her flip back over I've been trying to let her figure things out on her own. One night I was home by myself with her and I was in the kitchen cooking when she started her tummy fussing. I never looked over at her, but I was talking to her from across the room telling her she was going to have to practice getting back over. She finally fussed for as long as I could stand it, and I went over and picked her up. I felt awful because she had been laying in a HUGE puddle of spit up!! I felt horrible because I was actually looking for a camera!! I couldn't find one fast enough and felt so guilty that I was even laughing, so I washed her up immediately without getting a photo. It was all over her face, in her ears, hair, and eyes. I had to actually scrub it out of her little eye lashes.
The following week she and I were at home by ourselves again, and I decided her fingernails had to be cut. In the past I usually take her out on the back deck and she is distracted by the trees and various other things, and she allows me to cut them with little resistance. It was freezing and dark outside so that wasn't an option. I turned on a cartoon thinking that might would help, which it did briefly, but then she got really squirmy. I should have stopped there!! I made it to the last fingernail, which was her right thumb, and I cut what felt like half of her thumb off!! She looked up at me with a big frown and started crying. I did what I thought I would never do, and immediately sucked the blood off of her thumb. I know, gross. I then ran it under cool water and wrapped a paper towel around it. She only cried briefly but I felt AWFUL!! I thought I had gotten the bleeding stopped, so I put her in her exersaucer and looked over moments later to find it all splatter painted with blood. I wrapped it back up and held pressure on it, and after about 30 minutes, I finally got it to stop bleeding.
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| This outfit was child abuse. |
Nothing tops this last incident, to date that is!! I wanted to try out Finley's new high chair that the Stoners got for her. It is this really cool kind that attaches to a table or bar surface and the baby is supposed to sit in it as it cantilevers from the hard surface. Sounds like a cool thing, but it is actually kind of scary just looking at it. I put it together and secured it safely on the kitchen bar and placed Finley in it. Right away she really liked it, and I was quite proud of my assembly skills. I know you are all worried that she fell to the floor, so I'll go ahead and relieve you of that thought!! The chair stayed safely attached, but I wanted to add her tray in front of her so she would have a play surface for me to sit a few toys on. It appeared that it somewhat slid from the front and snapped in place as you pushed it back towards the seat. Not the case at all!! I firmly slide it from the front towards Finley and hit her square in the bridge of her nose with the tray. It took her breath away and was followed by a horrendous whaling of tears!! She let out one of the same type of cries, that I can't stand, similar to when she gets shots!! I yanked her out of the chair and held her for probably 15 minutes apologizing more times that I could even count. Her nose was a little bruised, but luckily it didn't cause two black eyes or anything like what I feared. I watched her closely throughout the night in fear that I had caused a concussion, but she was just fine. I, on the other hand, felt like the worse mother ever!!
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| Loving her new high chair |
I know that she will not remember any of these incidents and that there will be many more bumps and bruises throughout her life, probably even broken bones and stitches, if she plays near as rough as we all did as kids. I'd just like to NOT be the one that inflicts the pain upon her!! She sometimes wakes up at night as if she is having a nightmare, and I use to just blame it on her shots. Now I know it is probably nightmares over the pain that I have accidentally inflicted upon her!! :(
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| Getting tickled at dad |
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| In her kitty cat hat |
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| With her new penguin toy |
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